Stuck between a rock and a hard place

Good Morning Jackrip21

My heart broke to hear your Story, My Sweet Son who is 27 years old is also going through what you are going through. I loved my Husband, so much, and he found it easy to destroy my little Family. My son were 9 and 12 years old. His Father use to travel alot on business, yeh,right! It was business and doing me Wrong! My ex-put me through Hell in the year 1985 and the year 1994. I finally had to divorce him, he had another woman and was doing drugs. He was or is a Chemical Engineer. He gave me a Mental Breakdown, two herniated disc and told me if I don't give him a F - blank divorce he will shot me. He said that was the drug talking, he was only kidding. I divorced him, he came to our House Driveway with the Girlfriend and his Moving Truck and said to me, it is not to Late to take him back, I think he wanted to finish destroying my Heart. He ask me back at least 100 times I said, No, Thank You. My Son who is 27 years old Hates his Father and then 3 years ago his Only Brother let him down too! My son walks around not caring how he looks and looks Depress, I plan to see him tomorrow to take him out to Eat his favorite Sushi Place and then to a Movie of his Choice. He lives with two friends and sleeps on the Sofa. I wanted better for him. My ex-remarried and is now 56years old with 3 kids under the age of 7 years. He told my son that he plans to move with his Family and to Figure Out where he is going Live! I let my Son move with his Father at the age of 18 years old, the Father said he wanted to put my Son through College. His Wife treated my Son Cold and his Father let it happen to him. A long story short he told my son to figure out where he is going to live 3 months before he was going to finish College. And the terrible part is that he never moved away. My son wants nothing to do with him. My son said Mom alot of good people Died on September 11, and here is a Father who did some much Wrong and he walks around like he is a Good Guy, I told my Son I wish No One Bad! But, that I understand how he feels. My son has closed the Door to his Father and his Only Brother. So, I walk around depress because I feel I let him down, I had a Horrible Childhood and a Horrible Marriage, I wanted better for my two Sons. So, I know how you Feel! Listen, if you think in your Heart that you still would like a Relationship with your Father, maybe you should answer his phone call and maybe try to start Fresh in Your Heart. Just say, Hi, and see what happens, try to put the pass behind you, if you don't it will eat you up inside, and you truly deserve better, if he doesn't treat you with kindness and love, then you will know what you next step will be, you will have to Focus on Your Own Happiness, you will have to Start to Love and Matter to Your Own Self! And remember everything in Life is a Lesson, when you ever have Children you will know not to do to them what was done to You. You will Love them with all Your Heart. So take one day at a time. I am here if you need to talk. How is your Mother doing? I hope fine. Do you have any brothers or sisters? Surround your self with loving Family Members and Good Friends. I have two Sons and two Grand children that I barely see, I do my best to let them know I love them. All my Son and I wanted was Family. I feel I walk around feeling Unloved and Abandon. I am a Mom of age 56 years old. I hope the New Year will be Nicer to Me. I am Wishing For You the Best! Thank you for Serving Our Country. You sound like a Awesome Person. Keep Your Chin Up, and take one day at a time, let me know what you plan to do! A friend name Caffeine2 from support groups.com. Have a Nice Day!

Hey Caffeine2, thanks for your support. I'm still thinking about everything but leaning more towards just cutting him out completly. I don't hear from him except for those random calls once every 6 months or so. I really don't have that much of a support system as far as family goes. I have my mom and 4 sisters, but only really ever talk to my mom. I'm the baby of the family and the only time I hear from my sisters is when they need something, bithdays and holidays I will get a text from them. I call my mom every now and then to see how she is doing. My sisters call my mom every now and then as well, but we really don't talk to each other unless like I said, I call them. Am I crazy or should the older siblings be the ones to call me. I know I should call every now and again but I'm the baby of the family, shouldn't they make more of an effort to call me. And now with the holidays here, I was going to visit one of my sisters for christmas in arizona because I couldn't afford to go see my mom in texas. But I find out that the day I drove out there she took her family to palm springs, then I'm like fine, I can just crash at some friends houses until you get back. I ask when she is coming back, I get no answer, I finally get into town and I get a text from my mom telling me that my sister doesn't think it's a good idea for me to stay there for christmas. Her reasoning is that a while back my mom was living with them and needless to say she was basically ask to move out so she moved back out to texas. I'm not mad about that because she was miserable out there for many a reason, I've talked to her and she is happier back out in texas. So like I was saying, my brother-in-law is a real ball-buster and she is afraid he might say something that will get me upset and we will get into it and she doesn't want to have to deal with that fallout if it should occur. So I'm like, fine she wants to be like that, that's my gift to her, I stayed a few days out in AZ and saw my friends then drove back yesterday. I don't know which I was more mad about, that she didn't have the backbone to call me and tell me or the fact that my mom was used as a more or less buffer and I found out from her when I got into town and I had to scramble to call my friends to find a place to crash while I was out there. I am seriously at my wits ends with my family. I have one of my friends that I saw out there, he is like a brother to me, we served in the military together, he's out now and going to college. So I talk to him and call him to vent or catch up, he's like the only one I really open up to about all of this. I can't talk to my mom because she's put me on some kind of pedestal because I was her golden child, I could do no wrong. So whenever I talk to her I feel like I have to keep up this facade that everything in my life is going good, or if she finds out about something like what I was talking about, I just play it off like I don't care. A part of me doesn't really care because I'm so tired of the dsyfunction and drama that I sort of wash my hands of it, in a sense. I'm probably going to skype with my mom for christmas and call my "brother" and wish them a happy christmas, but that's about it. I might go to a friends house for christmas, I don't know, its still up in the air.

Good Morning Jackrip21

So, nice to hear from you. Wishing your Family was different. I go through the same thing with my, I hate to say it, so call Family. All my Son and I wanted was to have at least 1 close Family Member that truly was there for us or showed we mattered to them. I love both of my Sons so Much! I always try to reach out to them, by phone or I make plans to visit them. When we see my Son in Queens we take him out for Sushi, and then to a Movie of his choice and then we get him Food to take to his Apartment for his Dinner. He is 27 years old and lives with two male roommate. I also bring him things from my Home, like Raisins, Apples, Soaps, Paper Towels, etc. When I see them it makes me feel Complete in my Heart. You are right your Sisters should be calling you, you are the Youngest in the Family. They should greet you with Open Arms. So it seems you don't want to bother with your Father, do what you think feels better for your Heart. Are you dating anyone, just remember that one day you will have a Family of Your Own, and you will make sure that they don't experience what you went in your Life! I learn not to repeat what was done too me. My Sons did tell me I am a Good Mother, and that they know I truly Love them, that made me feel like I hit the Lotto! When I got Divorce to there Father, I did anything I could to try to make them Happy. There Father wasn't there for them, They were 9 and 12 years old and that made me feel Guilty and Sad Inside, I wanted better for them. I am Wishing you only the Best! I am so Happy to hear that you have a Real Good Friend who you care as a Brother, that is Awesome. What is your Plan for Today! Remember to Love and Matter to Your Own Self, that is what I am trying to do. My brother who lives in Florida disconnected my Mom house phone so it has been over 3 months that I haven't spoken to her, and the Sad thing is she doesn't seem to care. I left that Brother a phone call on his cell phone wishing him and Mom a great Thanksgiving and that I send them my Love, he didn't care to call me back! If he calls me once a Year, it is a Miracle! My brother disconnect us because my sister didn't send him or my Mom $25.00. My sister is always doing good for them, sending money if she had extra or buying my Mom pretty dresses for her Birthday, etc. My Brother is a Control Freak. I thought he was a nice brother but boy was I Wrong! He is Mean, and a Bitter Person. But I still Love him inside my Heart. So, bye for now. Do for You. And I am Wishing you a Very Good Christmas hopefully with your Good Friend. We all need at least one Person to show us we are Important and Cared About. I am Glad you found this Site. I do wish you had at least one Family Member to Talk too! Maybe you should tell your Mom at least how you truly feel inside after the Holiday are Over. I am here for you. Bye, again, your friend name Caffeine2 from support groups.com. I use to have a Sweet Friend who meant the World to me, he was in the Army or Air Force I can't remember which one, his name was Peter Rivas. He was my Best Friend. He wanted me to wait for him, and not get Married to my now Fiance. I am still not Married, he will always be in my Heart, he was the only Male Best Friend I ever had. Bye, again, it was so nice to hear from you. Enjoy your Day.

Good Morning Jackrip21

This is Caffeine2 again! Listen my Sister email me a Way Too Funny Site or Video, and I wanted to tell you about it, I figure we all need a Good Laugh! Enjoy It, your Friend Caffeine2 from support groups.com. Here it is: Frances Dilorinzo - Title: Homemade Implants - you could try to connect with her name or this site: Comedytimetv.com. I hope you get a hold of it, It Was Way Too Funny, ha,ha. Enjoy Your Day!